How to watch the Super Bowl

Posted on February 5, 2014


ken and nancy super bowl
So the quintessential American past time is upon us. I am not sure how I feel about the fact that Americans are most associated with sports, but I’ll let that go for now.

I don’t like football. There I said it. What is the purpose of giant men (can we say 300 pounds of muscle?) jumping on top of each other? Something weird about that. However, I felt I had to watch the Super Bowl if for no other reason that everyone will be talking about it for the next week. I consider it a major accomplishment that I remember who played in the game. I do enjoy the ads though.

Here is the story of the Super Bowl and Ken and Nancy’s house.

Two days before the BIG day.

I enter the kitchen to find Mr. Ken furiously writing things down.

Nancy: “Good morning! How are you today?”
Mr. Ken: “I can’t talk right now, I’m busy.”

Nancy(thinking to herself): “What the heck is he doing? It looks like he is reading the weekly supermarket flier. How engrossing can that be?”

Mr. Ken continues: “I’m planning my snack strategy for the game. There are lots of good things on sale. Think of all the money I will be saving.”

Nancy (thinking to herself): “If you didn’t buy any snacks, you’d save a lot more money.”

One day before the BIG day.

Mr. Ken literally jumps out of bed and rushes to the grocery store to buy more snacks. Now mornings are not Mr. Ken’s friend, so this is very out of character. He wants to take his time buying the snacks without the rush of everyone else doing the same thing.

Mr. Ken proudly shows me his purchases. Can we say tortilla chips, potato chips, cheez-its and ice cream? My arteries feel tighter just looking at that junk, I mean stuff.

Nancy (never one to keep her mouth shut when it comes to food): “You do realized that everything you bought is not healthy.”

Mr. Ken, looking quite surprised: “What do you mean not healthy? The tortilla chips have whole grains. The potato chips are lightly salted. The cheez-its are low fat. And the ice cream is filled with calcium.”

Nancy has no comment.

Nancy peruses the Internet to see if there is anything healthy associated with this BIG day. She is happy to find some healthy recipes, even though these are irrelevant since she doesn’t eat after 6 pm. (Don’t ask, it’s a diet thing.)

Nancy’s best discovery is suggestions for staying active during the game. I can get into this. Every time there’s a commercial, you do something like jumping jacks or push ups. Now that is MY kind of entertainment.

The BIG day.

Nancy goes out to lunch with a friend. Mr. Ken is worried that Nancy won’t make it back in time for the BIG game. Um, lunch is at 12 noon and the game is at 6:30. Yes, my friend and I like to talk, but not THAT much.

During the lunch, Nancy is figuring how little of the BIG game she can watch and still be able to discuss it. She remembers from past Super Bowls that several websites show all the ads, with lots of discussion. Several of the ads are even shown before the game. The sites discussing the game are endless too. Mmm, maybe I won’t have to watch the game after all?

Nancy ended up watching the game through the half-time show. She finally has to go to bed because the flashing lights and music, if you can call it music, of the half-time show is giving her head pains.

After the BIG day.

Mr. Ken considers the game a success; his snacks were good.  He really didn’t have a favorite team.  After all, the Super Bowl isn’t really about football is it?

Nancy peruses the Internet to take notes on the Super Bowl.  She comes up with some conversation snippets.

The Seahawks sure dominated the Broncos, didn’t they?

So what about Peyton Manning?

Okay, enough with the Super Bowl talk.  It’s time to look at fitness websites.  See, I told you I had a short attention span.

Photo is courtesy of yours truly, taken with one of Mr. Ken’s many cameras.

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