As I spend a lot of time over at my Mom’s house, cleaning it out, I have had a lot of time to reflect upon life.
I thought it would be very sad to be cleaning out my childhood home, but it has been rather uplifting. It’s cathartic in a way. Here are some lessons that I have learned about life:
1. The past is the past.
Yes, we are products of our past; we can’t change that. But, the past doesn’t have to define us. As I was taking a journey through my life, I re-lived several phases:
* Learning the alphabet. Yes, Mom kept my school papers from 1st grade.
* Worrying about college. Looking back over my college essays, did I really do all those school activities?
* Being on my own for the first time in Washington, D.C. I fondly remember how excited I was to get my first credit card. It was from the store, “Talbots.”
* Living in New York. Quickly glancing back over canceled checks from that era, I spent a lot of money on periodicals like the Wall St. Journal and Business Week.
* Planning a wedding. Looking back over my appointment book for the year before we got married. Gosh, there were a lot of things to do!
* Buying a house. My, the paperwork involved.
2. Face your fears.
I was afraid to go over to the house, thinking I would be too sad. I find it strangely comforting to be over there. It’s as though I am saying good bye to my past and getting ready to embark on a new adventure in my life.
3. Break down a BIG task into many smaller ones.
Okay, so this sounds very simple and straightforward. But I never really realized how potent this could be until I started cleaning out the house. I vowed to do a little bit every day, and I would tackle one room and one task at a time. This has worked out very well. One day, I might be shredding papers from the den. The next day I might be cleaning out the kitchen cabinets to figure out what goes to the swap shop.
I will tackle Mom’s clothes last. This will be the hardest.
4. Reward yourself.
I get to the house around 10:30 am. Before I get started, I sit where Mom used to sit, by the large picture window. I enjoy a cup of coffee and read the paper, just like Mom and I used to do. This puts me in the right frame of mind to tackle the tasks ahead.
5. Admire your work.
After a long day spent cleaning, I always do a final walk through to admire my work. This gives me incentive to come back the next day and do it again.
6. Ask for help.
I was at a total loss as to how to get rid of the furniture. Well, thanks to several wonderful neighbors, I now have the names of several “house clean-out” businesses and also local charities. Removing the furniture will be the last step.
7. There is life without computers.
It’s been quite freeing actually not to be tied to a computer all day. It’s good to be up and moving around and getting things done. When I get home at the end of the day, I quickly check my emails and that’s it. I have been sleeping wonderfully too!
8. Shoveling snow does not mix well with root canals.
What? Where did this come from? Yes, we had a surprise snow storm on Monday. I also had a root canal on that same Monday. So I had to shovel some snow at my parents’ house. Normally, I don’t mind shoveling snow. This is not a good combination; my mouth was very painful when I was done. I will have to remember that for future reference.
9. Do not attempt to recycle shredded paper on a windy day.
Um, let’s just say that none of the little shreds ended up in the recycle bin; they were all scattered about the parking lot. This reminded me of a ticker tape parade thrown in honor of a winning sports team.
What insights have you had lately as you go about mundane tasks?
mlblogsredsoxlady35/lighthousekat
April 13, 2016
Thank you for sharing your story. I remember having to clean my Mom’s house out in 2000 when she left us. She keep all of our stuff from school, keep my journals I wrote in and varies other things. it was good to ask for help on something while other things it fell to me being the oldest child left to do the major part of the cleaning. She had already both Christmas present that year and birthday presents for the ones who where left before Christmas. Take care my dear and thanks.
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Nancy Loderick
April 13, 2016
Hi,
Thanks for sharing your story. I am an only child, so in some ways it is easier to take care of things. I have several very dear friends and close cousins who are also helping me, so I don’t feel alone.
Nancy
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mlblogsredsoxlady35/lighthousekat
April 15, 2016
Nancy, I didn’t feel alone but blessed by all the stuff my Mom had saved for us for when we got older or when she left us.
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Elaine
April 13, 2016
I enjoy reading your blog. Brings back memories. Especially the kitchen table, I could always see your mom when I was walking or driving by. I have some friends who have gone through this in the last few years. In many ways, being an only child involves a tremendous amount of work but is probably easier in the long run. Nobody to help but nobody to disagree with either. 50+ years in one house involves lots of stuff! I try to take something every time I’m there to make a very small dent in what will be a huge project when the time comes.
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Nancy Loderick
April 14, 2016
Hi Elaine,
I agree with you about being an only child. It is a lot easier in many ways. I have some friends who, after the death of a parent, have a lot of disagreement about everything.
Nancy
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Stephen Loderick
April 13, 2016
What a great list and I especially like the order. We can never fully enjoy the present and what exciting adventures lie ahead if we’re not willing to let the past be the past and face our fears. I commend you on your ability to keep such a wonderful perspective on what many would consider to be a very difficult task.
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Nancy Loderick
April 14, 2016
Hi Stephen,
Thanks so much for your comment. In many ways, I am enjoying cleaning out the house. I love to organize things, so I am taking a very structured and organized approach to cleaning.
Nancy
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Cally
April 15, 2016
I love a good sort out. Sometimes you find things that are a real pleasant surprise. I shall reward myself and do things in smaller sections. Really enjoyed your post. Take care Cally.
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Nancy Loderick
April 19, 2016
Hi Cally,
Thanks so much for your comment. I am glad you enjoyed the post. I sure enjoyed writing it.
Nancy
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Bea dM
April 16, 2016
I was moved by this post. I love your ability to put order into what are clearly deep mixed feelings, finding the good and connecting with your mother in your various tasks, and revisiting the past with a sense of healing. Thanks for a wonderful share.
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Nancy Loderick
April 26, 2016
Hi Bea,
Thanks so much for your kind comment.
Nancy
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osborne2029
April 20, 2016
Nancy, your piece touched me deeply. It has a wonderful blending of both humor and life lessons learned. You have inspired me to share this family memory. I’m the youngest in my family. We all have chores. Mine is sweeping. I rarely get in trouble as a child. Mom would say when something happened while she was out, “You need to be an example to Kevin.” I was such an angelic child:) Whenever I say that with my sister or wife present they start laughing uproariously. Then, Valerie talks about the kind of trouble I start like the blueberry pie caper. I’m around seven. My sister, Valerie, gets me angry about something she asks me to do. She comes out the front door of our home. I say, “Sis, sit down and take a break”. Without looking she sits down on a freshly baked blueberry pie my Mom is going to take to a pie social. It’s such a huge sacrifice to make. Blueberry pie is my favorite pie. The execution of my plan comes off much better than my wildest expectations. Mom comes out of our home when Valerie cries out to Mom saying, “It’s all Kevin’s fault! He made me sit on the blueberry pie!” Mom says, “Valerie, you should have watched what you were doing. Being the youngest does have its advantages.
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Nancy Loderick
April 21, 2016
Hi,
Thanks for your touching story. I can just picture the blueberry pie incident!
Nancy
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osborne2029
April 22, 2016
Hi Nancy
When my sister read the story she wrote saying, “Ho ho. But actually they were a pair of my newest and coolest white denim push pedals.” Valerie dresses with style. You could let people know she has an online clothing design store called My Styles For You on etsy.ca
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Nancy Loderick
April 26, 2016
Hi,
Thanks for the info.
Nancy
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Jet Eliot
April 26, 2016
I am impressed by your courage and optimism in this challenging task, Nancy. I, too, know how cathartic it is to do clean-out projects; but this one is especially difficult.
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Nancy Loderick
April 26, 2016
Hi Jet,
Thanks for your kind words. Yes, this task is especially difficult, but I am dealing with it by taking it one day at a time.
Nancy
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Charlotte Hoather
May 10, 2016
Such a sad job to do but happy memories.
Will you be keeping all your old records and photos? My Mum tried to get my brother to take all his boxes she’s saved to his new home but even though he likes to look at everything he doesn’t want to store them.
Whenever I move clothes especially hanging ones I just leave them on the hangers and tape the hangers together with black tape then put a large bin bag over them and take them to my student flat or the charity shops if I’m not keeping them.
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Nancy Loderick
May 11, 2016
Hi Charlotte,
There were a lot of photos, which I went through and kept several. I will put them together in an album one of these days.
Great idea about moving clothes!
Nancy
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