Another great session from the The Successful You 2010 Women’s Leadership Forum was “Competitve Women at Work: From Fighting to Uniting.”
Bestselling authors, Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster, provided insights and practical advice for dealing with common types of competitive behavior.
Their advice on dealing with the main types of competitive behavior:
1. Gossip.
DETECT – Very chatty, freely shares spicey information about others, source of rumors.
FIGHT the temptation – to join in the gossip; gossip about the gossiper, report the gossip, confront the gossip.
UNITE – Take the high road; focus on keeping the relationship professional and friendly; express disinterest in gossip.
2. Saboteur.
DETECT – Cuts you down behind your back; overly solicitous about your skills, works hard to gain your trust. Someone in your inner circle alerts you to her actions.
FIGHT the temptation to – Badmouth saboteur to others; confront the saboteur.
UNITE – The best solution is harm reduction. Wage a huge PR campaign for yourself. Insert yourself into meetings so you can correct misconceptions that have been spread by the saboteur. Enlist a sponsor
3. Pedestal smasher.
DETECT – Very polished and has reached high levels in an organization; very respected. Keeps telling you, “you’re the answer to all my problems.” Then she begins to find fault with you and soon you can’t do anything right. These types of people are very insecure.
FIGHT the temptation to – Work harder and harder to get back onto that pedestal; complain that you can’t do anything right; compete with others to win back her approval.
UNITE – Stop seeking the pedestal smasher’s approval. Focus on doing your job to the very best of your abilities. Seek a cordial and professional relationship. You ‘ll notice that the smasher will soon move on to another victim.
4. Easily threatened.
DETECT – Has an adverse reaction to any good news; cuts you down; can’t compliment you on anything.
FIGHT the temptation to – Fight back or confront her.
UNITE – Accept that she can’t suppport you. Share credit for your accomplishments, if appropriate. Focus on sincerely complimenting her. Be less threatening.
Final words of advice:
Don’t take it personally
Don’t get caught up in a power struggle
Always aim for the high road approach
Be gracious.
Nancy Loderick's Blog 
Joanne
December 7, 2010
What a great piece! I have already forwarded it. Well written, succinct with great identifiers and coping actions. Thank you!!
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Nancy Loderick
December 7, 2010
Hi Joanne – I’m so glad you enjoyed this post and that you found it helpful. Thanks, too, for forwarding it. Hope all is well with you.
Nancy
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Diamondsongrass ~ Darlene Wiggins
July 24, 2012
Well written – Thanks for sharing useful information.
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Nancy Loderick
July 25, 2012
Hi Darlene,
Thanks for visiting my blog. I’m glad you found this post to be useful.
Happy Blogging!
Nancy
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Ralph
September 9, 2012
Nancy. Hi. What a brilliant post. I will use this when analysing the responses from any future girlfriend I may have. If she does not fit into any of those above catagories I will definitely go out with her. But she may not want to go out with me 😉 Ralph x
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Nancy Loderick
September 11, 2012
Hi Ralph,
Thanks for your comment. You gave me my laugh for the day.
Best,
Nancy
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The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap
January 9, 2013
Excellent points!
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Nancy Loderick
January 9, 2013
Thanks for your comment! I’m glad you enjoyed this post.
Nancy
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Christopher Snell
March 17, 2013
Brilliant post, very creative.
Competitive women can be a challenge to get close to on a date, simply because the competitiveness has them acting like men, and a man isn’t interested in dating another man.
However, I like your thinking, and how you processed your way through it. It takes heart to step outside the box and be different.
Blessings…
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Nancy Loderick
March 18, 2013
Hi Christopher,
Thanks for your comment. I had to laugh when I read your description of a competitive woman. It is so true! Sadly, it reminded me all to much of the women I went to business school with. Needless to say, there are very few of them that I still keep in contact.
Nancy
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jalal michael sabbagh.http://gravatar.com/jmsabbagh86@gmail.com
April 16, 2013
You have a fascinating post here.l will read more of your posts.Thank you for your Like on my post ( Boston Terrorist attack).Best wishes.jalal
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Nancy Loderick
April 16, 2013
Hi,
Thanks for your comment. I’m glad you like this post. I hope you enjoy reading the rest of my blog. As I sit here in Boston, glued to the TV for the latest about the horrible event at the Boston Marathon, I am still in shock.
Nancy
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neonspndx
October 1, 2013
Wow. This is so right on and exactly what I’m dealing with right now. I recognize that I’m an extremely competitive woman myself. BUT. I don’t push others down and I try not to stand in others’ way. I try in fact, to be an encouraging leader, one that takes a step back in order to allow the team as a whole to succeed. Apparently this is a concept lost on many. I’m thankful for the amazing managers I’ve had that taught me these traits, but unfortunately I’m surrounded by female aggressors that spread gossip and poison in order to help out their own insecurity. Thanks for sharing. I’ve forwarded this to a few of my colleagues and friends who unfortunately feel the same way.
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Nancy Loderick
October 2, 2013
Hi,
Thanks so much for your comment. I keep hearing again and again that women are their own worst enemies. What is up with that? If we call worked together, think of what we could accomplish!
Nancy
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